Money getting very low.

Fri. 14: Call Mom to ask for money. Mom says she’ll call back.

Sat. 15: Black woman wants to see my berets and after seeing lots of them says she 's waiting for a paycheck. She works but the check comes from Florida etc... Asks if she can borrow a few bucks from me, she's hungry. I say I have only $3 left but I have some pancake mix and I can make her some if she wants. She makes a disgusted face, says that what she wants to eat is meat. After she left I realize that apparently asking to see my berets and setting a few aside for when she gets the money was only a pretext, and that the real reason for her being here was to ask to borrow money from me, knowing that I couldn't.

Mom calls, says "You're going to think I'm not generous..." says she sent FF 6.000. I say it hardly covers my overdue bills. I'm disquieted by the fact that she did it without checking with me first. After all, I could have changed banks.

Sun. 16: Meet black woman outside. Comes in with me. Two menacing guys in lobby I don't pay attention to until she mentions them. Then I understand. They don't come here really to smoke a joint. They could smoke a joint anywhere. They're here only to intimidate me.

Mon 17: I come back from gym evening. Black woman calls me. Says she still has no money.

Tue 18: No Law Journal. Go to Col/96 to check bank acct: Balance savings: $0.56, checking $0.43. No money arrived. When walking back up Col, I see in distance white hair man walking affectedly from 103 to his car. When I pass car he's inside car with elbow on window and calls me, smiling 2000 teeth, asking how I'm doing. I say I'm fine and keep walking. As I pass car, man calls "Hey, Hey!" like desperate but I don't pay attention.

So what was the deal? Was I expected to get into the car like a brainless hitchhiker, completely broke, asking to be kidnaped, really asking for it, destination Death? Oh God, I was dressed like I meant business with my midnight blue trench-coat (and I meant it), how could you think all it would take to sway me were 2000 teeth, nicely coiffed white hair, a nice car, and a light grey suit? How could I trust a man who walked to his car like something was wrong with his balls? Remember, I'm the Scorpio pansexual. And, between you and me, Fuck You. So this makes me think that maybe Mom hasn't sent the money after all, if she counted on me to be kidnaped. Save herself a grand.

Wed 19: Still no money. Call Mom for details of transaction. Ah. She sent the money to BNP so no wonder that nothing showed up on my bk acct. Call BNP. No record of transfer. Call Chase Foreign Exchange and other Chase numbers. Nothing. Call Mom again. Ask her to fax me her record of the transaction. She says her bank Credit Agricole) didn't give her a record. (My foot). Which increases my doubt that she sent me any money at all.

Thur 20: Still no money.

Sat. 22: Call Mom. She reads me an account # to which se sent the money. It's mine at Chase.

Sun. 23: I realize that a few days ago she said she had sent the money to BNP and yesterday she said she sent it to my acct. #.

Mon. 24: I call her. She confirms that she actually sent the money to BNP NY with my Chase acct.#. Then gives me the phone # of Foreign Exchange at CA Evreux where she made the transaction, and says that the woman there was really unpleasant. I call that number. The woman is quite pleasant, says that she just received a fax from Bankers Trust in Manhattan saying that they were going to return the money because the beneficiary information was defective unless correction was made same day. I explain her the error. Woman says that Credit Agricole was correspondent with Chase and that int'l transfer should take no more than a day. I call Bankers Trust. They do have the money. I ask them to transfer it to my Chase acct but they cannot do it if it's me asking. It has to be CA. I call the CA lady again and ask her to communicate the correct info to Bankers Trust.

Tues. 25: $1,040 credited to my acct. All this time, anguish, overseas phone calls for a thousand bucks. My phone bill will be of $174. I call Mom. She does not admit having done this on purpose of course. Just a faint acknowledgment that she made a mistake, my anguish counting for nothing, and she says that it was she who discovered the mistake. I was able to pay my rent to end of Jan., i.e. 1.28. Big hurrah, but in the meantime, I was wondering what sort of a bag-lady I would make.